George Bernard Shaw said “Those who can, do; those who can’t, teach,” in his 1905 stage play Man and Superman.
Jack Black said “Those who can’t do, teach; those who can’t teach, teach gym,” in MTV Movie Award for Best Comedic Performance winning film, School of Rock.
And The Movie Dweeb says “Those who can’t act, host a mildly-to-not-so-much popular interview series on YouTube.”
After an unsuccessful acting career – by which I mean I said repeatedly that I wanted to win an Oscar, but never once went to a single audition – I started The Movie Dweeb in a crude attempt to flirt with actors and directors until I force myself into their next project.
Finally, thanks to the Strays director, Josh Greenbaum, my dreams are one step closer to becoming a reality. I also hope Josh dreams of having a box office flop, because that’s the only possible outcome to casting me in a movie.
Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar – also directed by Josh Greenbaum – is one of my favourite things to come out of the COVID-19 pandemic. Well, that and probably the vaccine, y’know?
Which is why I took it upon myself to cast, well, myself in the sequel, joking that Will Ferrell’s kids suggested I should take on the role.
(It actually makes sense; Will said in a recent interview that, “Along with the council of my children, who when I pitched the idea [of Strays], the immediately said… ‘You have to make that movie’.”)
“I guess if Will Ferrell’s kids say it, I guess we have to make it happen,” said Josh, after I pitched the idea of being cast in his next film. He then said “I hope this isn’t legally binding. I’m going to talk to my lawyers about this. Did I just agree that you’re in Barb and Star 2?”
I’ve now written it in black and white. It’s a written contract. Albeit, a written contract that was typed up on WordPress, but that will still hold up in court, right?
Josh also spoke about his friend, Jamie Dornan, who starred in Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar, praising the Irish actor; “I wanted him to be not funny or maybe not as handsome as you’d think, but no, there were very, very few flaws. I can’t think of any.”
He then went on to celebrate his Strays actor, Jamie Foxx, saying that he was “equally as funny, handsome and charming,” as Jamie Dornan.
We can only hope and pray that, one day, Josh will be talking about his Barb and Star 2 actor, Daniel, in the same way he talks about Dornan and Foxx. But let’s face it, we know he won’t.