In a world where movie reviews are easily accessible by a few taps on your phone, one hugely under-qualified boy attempts to bring you the same ol’ film knowledge, without anything else to offer.

Why? Why are you saying that?

Saying what?

That. That stuff about me not knowing what I’m doing. Of course I’ll be providing something different; I’ll … I’ll –

Yes. Go on.

I’ll rap my reviews. Word. Erm… Whoopi Goldberg’s good in The Colour Purple. It’s a shame that the cinematography’s a little bit… Shlurple.

In a world where someone with a Twitter account can give you a full scene-by-scene retelling of Inception with the greatest of ease, one boy who didn’t even graduate from university is telling you how to feel about cinema… And he’s not even rapping.

For f- Okay, look. I can’t rap. But I do like movies. So I’m going to – as regularly as I can – write reviews, features, games, quizzes and all sorts based on film.

Am I still get paid for this?

Probably not. No.