This year, thanks to a little something you may or may not be aware of, called coronavirus, 2021’s Oscars have been pushed back.
And yet they still couldn’t get the nominations right. I MEAN, WHERE – IN THE SWEET, DAMNED, MERCILESS HELL WAS DELROY LINDO’S NOM?
So, in the interest of fairness, I’ve reimagined a world where Mank wasn’t, like, in the running for everything, and instead only nominated people who didn’t get a nomination this year.
It’s at this point that I usually flip my laptop into a river, after being so disgusted at the Best Picture nominations. Luckily for me – after seeing Da 5 Bloods, Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom and One Night in Miami snubbed – I was nowhere near open water, and instead flung my Mac into oncoming traffic. It was a lot more durable.
- Borat Subsequent Moviefilm
- Da 5 Bloods
- Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom
- News of the World
- One Night in Miami
Read the above statement, but replace ‘Da 5 Bloods’, ‘Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom’ and ‘One Night in Miami’ with Regina King, Regina King and Regina King.
- Aaron Sorkin, The Trial of the Chicago 7
- Florian Zeller, The Father
- Regina King, One Night in Miami
- Shaka King, Judas and the Black Messiah
Chadwick Boseman was an unbelievable triumph in Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom; I could never take that away from him – in fact, regardless of who he was up against, he would win that post-humous Oscar. I JUST WISH HE WAS AGAINST DELROY LINDO. (Did I mention that already?)
- Delroy Lindo, Da 5 Bloods
- Mads Mikkelsen, Another Round
- Sacha Baron Cohen, Borat Subsequent Moviefilm
- Tahar Rahim, The Mauritanian
- Tom Hanks, News of the World
Sigh. Welcome to another instalment of ‘Nope. Amy Adams Hasn’t Won An Oscar Yet’.
- Amy Adams, Hillbilly Elegy
- Kate Winslet, Ammonite
- Sophia Loren, The Life Ahead
- Yeri Han, Minari
- Zendaya, Malcom & Marie
Best Supporting Actor
- Bill Murray, On the Rocks
- David Strathairn, Nomadland
- Frank Langella, The Trial of the Chicago 7
- Glynn Turman, Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom
- Stanley Tucci, Supernova
Best Supporting Actress
- Dominique Fishback, Judas and the Black Messiah
- Ellen Burstyn, Pieces of a Woman
- Helena Zengel, News of the World
- Jodie Foster, The Mauritanian
- Saoirse Ronan, Ammonite