I don’t mean to sound crude when I say this, but… What the fucking fuck state is Twitter in at the minute?
If I’m not seeing posts by whining man-babies because they cast a woman to play the female superhero, Captain Marvel, in the movie, I’m, well… Not seeing anything else, because those whining man-babies have nothing else to do but angrily post on Twitter and masturbate to UKIP manifestos.
However, that’s not to say there isn’t some good on Twitter. Jeff Goldblum, a man who I am confident is the reincarnation of Jesus, shared a message with his 81.1k followers* which almost shadows the misogynistic, cushion-fuckers that are hating on Brie Larson.
* That’s 81,088 more followers than Jesus, actually. Maybe Jeff isn’t the reincarnation. Maybe he’s better?
After an article surfaced stating that scientists claim to be able to recreate living dinosaurs within the next five years, Jeff went full Ian Malcolm, and quoted the piece, saying “Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should…”
Jeff has a point. There’s two good (and three lousy) movies all depicting exactly why we shouldn’t be doing this. Unless we can train each raptor to hunt only morons who are so outraged with one-in-23 MCU feature films being led by a female that they have to stop punching foxes to angrily smash poorly written hate messages to their six bot followers, behind their egg profile picture.
Now if scientists are reading this now – and, let’s face it; you’re not – there’s only one Jeff Goldblum picture you should be striving to make a reality.
I am, of course, talking about Cats & Dogs. They’re not only house-trained; but trained in martial arts too. WHAT IS NOT TO LOVE?!