Literally, Just Every Damn Thing We Learned From Disney’s D23 Expo

Imagine Comic-Con, but instead of risking having the upcoming series of Game of Thrones spoiled for you by someone dressed as a six-foot-tall Ewok-Deadpool hybrid, you’re wearing personalised mouse ears.

Yeah – D23 Expo is that frickin’ sweet.

This annual presentation allows filmmakers and animators to show off their upcoming movies from a range of studios, including Pixar, Marvel and LucasFilm, so you can pretty much say this round-up of all of their announcements is the sweetest thing you’re going to find on the internet.

And just in case that didn’t float your boat, here’s a video of a cat doing something silly. Now it’s DEFINITELY the sweetest thing online.

Animated Movies

Genuinely, I didn’t know Disney produced animated movies either. Maybe this was the big announcement they made. Who knew?!

Coco

Coco

O.T. Genasis’ song, ‘CoCo’ has a very different meaning to what I’m about to say, but I feel it’s apt to quote it regardless, because… I, too, am in love with the Coco. Pixar’s next release flashed off a longer, extended clip which saw the protagonist, Miguel, steal his grandfather’s guitar and magically whisk himself off to the Land of the Dead. While I’m a fan, my mum reckons this is too scary.

Really? The skeletons have gormless, goggly eyes. It’s about as scary as an advert for dishwasher tablets. (Great. Now I can hear my mum screaming at an ad about dishwasher tablets. Sigh.)

Incredibles 2

First off, I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that this movie is going to ditch ‘The’ from the title. Would you believe thousands of pounds worth of focus groups, and the best Pixar could come up with was removing ‘The’ and giving us Cars 2? No-one wanted either of those things. Rant. Over.

The film’s original cast – including Craig T. Nelson, Holly Hunter and Samuel L. Jackson – reunited on stage to discuss the superhero sequel, which is said to focus heavily on Elastigirl, much like how the original focussed on Mr Incredible. (And the man babies strike in 3, 2, 1…)

Guests at D23 were also treated to a clip of the movie, which saw the family’s youngest member, Jack-Jack, using his superpowers to pester a helpless racoon. Needless to say, despite the heroic figures and explosions on the teaser poster, the rodent was legit my favourite thing on it.

Olaf’s Frozen Adventure

I know you’re looking for Frozen 2 details, but that’s literally all the information that anyone knows about it right; that it’s called Frozen 2. John Lasseter literally said that himself during the expo.

There’s a lot more known about the Frozen spin-off, however. Set to appear before Pixar’s Coco, this 21-minute long short will see the original cast return to reprise their roles, including Josh Gad as Olaf, who performed an original number, That Time Of Year, alongside co-host Kristen Bell.

The Speed Test

John Lasseter started the entire expo by not only wearing the bloody dopest shirt known to man, but by introducing us to The Speed Test; an animated picture created by DisneyToon Studios. Not a lot is known about this movie, except for the fact that it focuses heavily on aviation.

Space

Having been produced by DisneyToon Studios, will it be in the same universe as DisneyToon’s Planes? No. Seriously. I’m asking you. I genuinely don’t know.

Wreck-It Ralph 2: Ralph Breaks The Internet

Not only am I pleased this film has a sequel, because the original was a charming, whimsical look into a topic that had only been, really, touched upon, but because ‘Ralph Breaks The Internet’ allowed me to Kim Kardashian this mo’ fo’.

Ralph Breaks the Internet: Wreck-It Ralph 2 🙊

A post shared by The Movie Dweeb (@themoviedweeb) on

Directors Rich Moore and Phil Johnston – the people behind Zootopia (or if you’re a fool, Zootropolis) – introduced us to new characters, including Taraji P. Henson’s Yesss, a character who is essentially all things viral on the internet. It should also be noted that a lot of the original voice actresses for Disney princesses will be making cameos in this films – including Aladdin’s Linda Larkin, Beauty and the Beast’s Paige O’Hara and The Little Mermaid’s Jodi Benson.

It’s unknown how they’ll appear in the internet world of Wreck-It Ralph 2. I’ll be happy, as long as their not part of some creepy-ass fanfic in the scary, dark depths of Tumblr. Shudder.

The Untitled Pixar Film That Takes You To A Suburban Fantasy World

Catchy title, eh? For now, we’ll just call it TUPFTTYTASFW. Or is that some sort of charity federation that saves pandas? I don’t know anymore.

Not the official title – thankfully, TUPFTTYTASFW is in the very early stages of production, by Pixar, and is set to be an original fantasy adventure, directed by Monsters University’s Dan Scanlon.

Following two teenage elves – imagine Orlando Bloom, but with more acne and less girlfriends* – they go on a quest to spend one last day with their father. They just have to watch out for the bloodthirsty, garbage-sniffing unicorns. I’m not even kidding – they’re an actual thing according to the concept art.

*Surely it wasn’t just my teenage life that consisted of spots and zero affection from the opposite sex?!

Live-Action Movies

And did you know Disney did live-action movies too? I’m gonna be frank with you – I literally had zero clue that Disney made movies. This is all new to me.

Aladdin, Dumbo, The Lion King, Mulan And Pretty Much Every Other Live-Action Remake

As the ol’ proverb goes, if it ain’t broke, hire Jon Favreau to recreate it with Hollywood A-listers in a live-action format. That seems to be Disney’s go-to strategy at the moment.

Following on from the news that John Oliver has been cast as Zazu in the upcoming The Lion King remake (and the totally fake news that Hugh Jackman will be Scar), the first original footage from the film was shown at D23 Expo; a shot-for-shot replica of the animated classic, which even included a hyper-realistic sneezing Simba. Just imagine a fluffy Donald Glover sneezing. Oh, he’s so ickle and cute. I just wanna squeeze his face.

lion-king-gambino

After rumours of Zayn Malik and Jade Thirlwall portraying Aladdin and Jasmine respectively in Guy Ritchie’s Aladdin remake, I can say “THANK THE MOTHER FUCKING LORD” with the hardest, most-erect nipples known to man, that that is not the case. Mena Massoud is set to play the titular role, with Power Rangers’ Naomi Scott as his love interest, Princess Jasmine, and two-time Oscar-nominee, Will Smith, will fill the boots of Robin Williams as Genie.

The very first Dumbo on-set snap of director Tim Burton was released, and it was – after years of speculation – finally confirmed that Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson was going to play the lead in a movie-adaptation of Disney World’s The Jungle Cruise. I’m a little bit annoyed Disney didn’t even consider me to play the ripped, toned, charismatic hunk, but y’know. Whatever. Their loss.

Avengers: Infinity War

Josh Brolin, Dave Bautista, Karen Gillan, Paul Bettany, Don Cheadle, Elizabeth Olsen, Benedict Cumberbatch, Tom Holland, Chris Hemsworth, Chadwick Boseman, Mark Ruffalo, and Robert Downey, Jr.

Not only is that a list of Hollywood stars who refused to be my friend after I bombarded them with hourly fan mail, but it’s just some of the ensemble cast that graced the stage to introduce initial teaser footage for the next instalment in the Avengers franchise.

Screen Shot 2017-07-17 at 20.35.02.png

From Star-Lord and the rest of the Guardians finding Thor lost in space, to The Vision being locked away. Scarlet Witch caught in an all-out fist fight, and Peter Parky flashing his Spidey-sense, the teaser ends with Brolin’s Thanos literally lifting a feckin’ planet and hurling it towards the Avengers. And cut to black.

With Comic-Con just around the corner, it’s assumed we’ll get a trailer soon. Now what could possibly top that?

Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Oh yeah. This could.

Screen Shot 2017-07-17 at 20.35.35.png

If you thought I – a blogger with an average of six annual readers – was going to have the hot-scoop on one of the year’s most highly anticipated movies, you’re more of a fool than a foolish fool on April Fool’s Day. In fact, no-one knows much about the plot.

That’s because during Rian Johnson’s presentation, he kept a lot of the facts and spoilers close to his chest, but did show off an incredible piece of footage which showed off a lot of the making behind the eighth picture in the Star Wars Episode franchise.

A Wrinkle In Time

Ava DuVernay. Oprah Winfrey. Chris Pine. Reese Witherspoon. Zach Galifianakis. Mindy Kaling. And a new trailer.

I literally don’t/shouldn’t say any more. Just watch the teaser for this incredible sci-fi adventure, okay?!

And the worst part is I spent a good few hours or so researching all of this, when I could have just put this here…

Still, you had fun reading it, didn’t you? Guys? GUYS?!

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