Screw The Football – The Super Bowl Is For These TV Spots ONLY!

I don’t know – there’s something about kicking, right? Some men run about a field and Lady Gaga appeared, I think. Is she a goalie? Help.

I can’t even explain my lack of knowledge of the Super Bowl on the fact that it’s an American sport. I know zilch on any English sport either; take feetball for instance.

Am I – am I pronouncing that right?

But – apart from being able to order a pitcher of foul-tasting beer for £1.70 – there is an upside to watching the Super Bowl… The upcoming movie TV spots. Aaaaaand now I’ve got goosebumps again.

Ghost in the Shell

Not to sound like a borderline creep, but I see a trailer opening with Scarlett Johansson derobing and I click. (What?! I’m a single 23-year old, and it’s a week ’til Valentine’s Day. What did you expect?)

I have no idea what is going on in this anime-adaptation, but doesn’t it look just kick-ass?! And you know it’s going to be tense because the whole trailer consists of that “BWAAAAAH” noise.

Life

I don’t know why Hollywood is insistent on making space as damn scary as it can be, but I’m a simple man – if Jake Gyllnhaal and Ryan Reynolds are in a movie together, I get excited.

Even if it does look like a 2017 remake of Alien. But screw it, I bloody LOVED Alien.

Transformers: The Last Knight

Following the fourth installment in the franchise, you know the sequel can’t be any worse.

I’m not saying it will be good; God no. It will be total, explosive garbage. But who are you even trying to kid? You’re going to watch it and love every second of it.

Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2

Do I really need to sell this to you? I’ve got five words that should sway you; “Guardians. Of. The. Galaxy. Sequel”. That’s it – if you’re not excited, let’s just agree to not be friends ever again, okay?

The humour. The dancing. The fact that the trailer features music from Fleetwood Mac. I’ve already watched this trailer about 28 times… For research purposes, obviously.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

You know what you’re getting with this – an undead sea captain is trying to kill Jack Sparrow. Sure, it’s not going to shock anyone into a coma anytime soon, but I’m so damn excited for this!

With Javier Bardem on board, and Orlando Bloom set to return as Will Turner (I tried a reTurner pun, but not even I’m that bad at writing) fans are speculating as to who could die in this installment. And I swear, if it’s Barbossa…

Fist Fight

Charlie Day. ‘Nuff said.

Of course, there were other Super Bowl TV spots for the likes of Logan, John Wick: Chapter 2 and the definitely-filmed-on-an-actual-beach-and-not-edited-from-a-green-screen-by-a-12-year-old Baywatch, but the one I’m most looking forward to is…

Spider-Man: Homecoming

The upcoming movie teasers is the only reason I watch the Super Bowl. 😏

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