If there’s an excuse for me to bring up the fact that I once met Chris Pratt, I will bring it up.
If someone suggests going to the park, I’ll say “Park? Like Parks and Recreation, starring Chris Pratt? I met him once.”
Even if it’s someone’s funeral, and the priest – rather unprofessionally – says “The death of this person is far from awesome,” I’ll start singing Chris’ ear-worm hit, ‘Everything Is Awesome’ from The LEGO Movie. (That was an awkward funeral.)
Hell, I may as well do it now: LOOK. LOOK AT ME STOOD NEXT TO ACTUAL CHRIS PRATT!
Naturally, after it was suggested that the Jurassic World franchise may crossover into the Fast & Furious saga, when talking to Vin Diesel, I had to cause some beef between the two.
I asked the F9 star who he thought would survive longer in the crossover; if he thought Chris would do better with the high-octane motors, or if he thought he would beat off dinosaurs better than Chris.
“I love Chris. He’s too funny,” praised Vin, before saying that he is currently developing a cinematic universe for the video game, Ark: Survival Evolved, stating that you will see him with dinosaurs.
Of course, I took that to mean that he was throwing down the gauntlet to Chris Pratt, and was, in fact, calling him a big ol’ loser.
It’s okay, Chris. We’re close pals now – if you don’t believe me, LOOK AT THAT DAMN PICTURE ABOVE – so if you need a shoulder to cry on, you can cry on mine… As long as your tears don’t ruin my exceptionally, exceptionally jazzy shirt.