This is a public apology to my best friends, because… I want to dump you for Tom Holland. He is, undoubtedly, one of – if not the coolest person on the planet.
He can do about 82 backflips in a minute; his father has been on Never Mind the Buzzcocks; oh, and he also happens to be Spider-Man. Meanwhile, one of my best mates boasts that he has a lot of chest hair. I know who the really winner is here.
Which is why it’s safe to say that I’m beyond excited to see what movies Tom Holland has planned for the next few years. If only there was a list of all of his upcoming movies. Now where would I find one of those?
Chaos Walking (2020)
Tom is set to star in a bold science-fiction thriller, Chaos Walking, which sees him play Todd Hewitt, a boy who has been brought up to believe all women have been killed.
That is until he discovers a Viola Eade played by Daisy Ridley, and the pair team up to discover the true history of the world they live in.
And just to make matters worse, in this New World, a virus has struck allowing people to hear peoples’ and animals’ thoughts. I swear, if this fiction does ever become a reality, you may want to avoid streaming my inner thoughts. For your sake.
The Devil All The Time (TBA)
I’m started to notice a trend here – team up Tom Holland with a hunk from Marvel’s Cinematic Universe, and make shit loads of money. The end.
In this indie picture, Chris Evans was originally set to play the lead, but now Sebastian Stan is to play a soldier who returns to his hometown in Ohio after returning from fighting in World War II, only to find his wife is diagnosed with cancer.
Meanwhile Tom plays his son, Arvin Russell, who grows up to be a vicious man, despite being raised with proper ideals. And yet, oddly, I still adore Tom. Why do you do this to me, kid?!
Why wouldn’t you be excited for this? Tom Holland’s playing one of video game’s greatest characters, Nathan Drake – a man who’s a cross between Indiana Jones (minus the whip) and Lara Croft (minus the pixelated, pointy digital knockers).
Tom is said to be playing a younger version of Nathan Drake than the one we’re used to in the Uncharted video game franchise, but is still set to be fighting bad guys, solving puzzles and letting off wise quips.
And if that doesn’t make you weak at the knees, Bryan Cranston is rumoured to be starring in an unknown-as-of-yet role. Hell, he could be playing a door, and I’d be sold.
Atlantis: The Lost Empire (TBA)
I don’t know if you’re aware, but Disney are said to be remaking their animated classics into live-action adaptations. But it’s been kept on the down-low, so if anyone asks, don’t tell them I’ve told you.
Disney is reportedly eyeing up Tom Holland to play the lead, Milo Thatch, in their remake of 2001 movie, Atlantis: The Lost Empire, who was previously voiced by Michael J. Fox.
While nothing has been confirmed as of yet, I will be petitioning to see Tom in another pair of thick, round and – most importantly – iconic glasses, following that stint in Spider-Man: Far From Home.
Yes, I’m writing this through tear-soaked eyes, after it was announced that Marvel and Sony had effectively ended their relationship in regards to future Spider-Man films, thus meaning we may never see Tom Holland as Spidey again.
But fear not, because Avengers directors, Anthony and Joe Russo have hired Tom to join them for a new adventure. One with less webs and silly quips, and one with more PTSD and opioid addiction.