It’s become a worrying occurrence that I write my reviews on a hangover. Luckily for you, today’s not that day. All I did last night was work out, drink kale smoothies and adopt several dolphins.
Who am I kidding? It was the Royal Wedding, and I went on an eight-hour-long pub crawl. Why am I like this?
And yet, even though the room is spinning, it doesn’t feel half as chaotic as when I saw Deadpool 2 in Cineworld’s latest venture, which vows to put you in the movie. It’s not every day you go to the cinema, and you have to be briefed with a health and safety warning before the screening – although, they probably should have before the likes of Baywatch, just to make sure everyone in the theatre was okay, hun. Not only was the screen surrounded by fans and jets, that would provide effects including wind, fog, lightning and rain, but everyone was sat on a high-tech motion seat.
Sure, that’s cool, and all. But sweet Jesus Christ, is it scary. They showed an ad saying there was still time to grab a Coca-Cola, and my chair was bouncing me all over the shop like the love-child of a space hopper and Charlie Sheen. During Deadpool 2, Skrillex played, and I nearly got flung off the seat and through the goddamn screen. And yet, here I am, planning on booking tickets to see both Solo: A Star Wars Story and Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom in 4DX. What can I say? I’m a masochist.
Anywho… Enough about my weird cinematic sexual desires. Shall we talk about Deadpool 2? It’s for the best.
For anyone who works in marketing, may I suggest you just give up now? Not just on your current project, but your life, because there’s no way you’ll top Deadpool 2’s advertising. And ever since they teased the sequel by showing Ryan Reynolds’ scarred, wrinkled buttocks in a phone box in March 2017, I’ve been hyped as hell to see the movie. And it didn’t disappoint. (Much.)
The problem with sequels is that we have a tendency to have seen the best bits in the original, and the second outing is just the scraps that didn’t make it the first time. In a sense, that seems to be the case with Deadpool 2. The jokes and – more importantly – the insults, don’t feel as quick or as scathing as the first movie, and there are one too many references to Ryan’s previous work, such as Green Lantern or X-Men Origins: Wolverine. In the original Deadpool, this was more subtle, with Wade uttering “Please don’t make the super-suit green! Or animated,” alluding to the studio’s goof to digitally generate Green Lantern’s clothing. But here, he mentions the superhero throughout; even going as far as giving the last gag to Green Lantern. Other jokes seem obvious, too. Anyone who’s seen the trailer will know that Deadpool forms a super team of unlikely heroes, and this joke seemingly repeats for quite a lot of time, with very little pay-off. Despite one shock cameo, the rest is very much paint-by-numbers, such as having an invisible superhero totally – you guessed it – invisible, despite his clothing. I mean, I’m sure I saw that in an episode of Scooby-Doo, but you do what you gotta do, Warner Bros.
That’s not to say that this movie isn’t funny. As I said, I’m cranky. I’ve eaten two blocks of cheese and now don’t know whether I’m going to vomit or poo first. Chances are it’ll be both at the same time. The script is funny, and does nod nicely to both the Marvel Universe, as well as other actors’ work, etc. And – of course – Ryan Reynolds is just a fucking god, isn’t he? Ryan was born to play the role of Deadpool, and whether it’s his witty delivery, to incredibly fast-paced improvisation, Reynolds makes (and, essentially, saves) the movie. The rest of the cast are great additions; Josh Brolin could literally play a goat-humping zombie Nazi and I’d still love him. Admittedly, his gruff, snarling Cable wasn’t far off that. And after stealing every scene in Hunt for the Wilderpeople, Julian Dennison played a reasonable role here. He didn’t have as much chance to make jokes as other characters, but he provided the odd smirk (as I was holding on to the arms of my chair for dear life, watching my knuckles go white, patiently waiting for the kiss of death, in my flailing 4DX chair.)
As for the plot itself, Deadpool 2 seemed to have lost its way, a tad. The original was simple – try to find a cure from the man who left you horribly disfigured. Whereas, in the sequel, Deadpool had to navigate through an aquatic forcefield wall to meet with his girlfriend, all the while battling a cyborg from the future who carried around a burnt, disfigured teddy bear, who was trying to kill a young boy with the ability to manipulate fire who was trying to kill that guy from Atomic Blonde. If you threw in a secret riddle only Michael Caine could solve, you’d have Christopher Nolan’s most complex movie to date. I hope that the next inevitable seven sequels take a more relaxed approach. After all, while it isn’t a family film, we all know 12-year-olds are illegally streaming it online, right?
At the end of the day, Deadpool was a critical and box office smash. It was a shocking take on the superhero genre which, unless you were keen on the comics, was totally unexpected. This time, Deadpool 2 has the difficulty of doing it again without that surprise, and while it is a funny movie, it seems like it just got a bit too excited with its new found budget and splurged it all on a brand new cast (forgetting about older characters) and a much lengthier, more complex story. And, yet, in spite of all of that, I enjoyed it thoroughly. Thank God for Ryan Reynolds.
Now, I’m off to go throw up in a bucket. Excuse me.