Lucasfilm announced the upcoming Episode VIII’s name; The Last Jedi. Ever since then, I’ve been frantically analysing every single aspect of the Star Wars saga in an attempt to work out what it means – I haven’t eaten in days; I’ve missed so many meetings, I’ve lost my job; and don’t even get me started on all of the texts from beautiful women I haven’t had the time to answer.
No. Seriously. Don’t get me started. It’s a firm zero.
But – in true movie tradition – scenes have been leaked, including the opening crawl. Yes. This is totally, 100% legitimate. I promise you. Would I lie to you?
Yeah. I would lie to you. If you thought this was real, I don’t suggest you go to the cinema to see The Last Jedi alone. I’m scared you’ll forget to look both ways while crossing the road, or something.
Now that the official title has been released, director Rian Johnson can start teasing his Episode. Sure, I’d have preferred it if he did it via a grainy blur hologram, like Princess Leia in A New Hope, but I’ll settle with a filtered Instagram post.
Rian shared a snapshot of the opening crawl on the photo-sharing platform, and you know what that means, don’t you? We’re one step closer to the film being released.
Meanwhile, I’m waiting for it’s release date like…
