What have you accomplished during lockdown? My biggest success came after my girlfriend bought a DIY pottery kit, and I didn’t even make a single clay penis.
Sigh. That was a lie – I did make a penis. It’s quite literally drying on our kitchen table now.
Meanwhile, Zendaya and John David Washington have managed to secretly complete a whole damn movie during the coronavirus shutdown. (But I bet they don’t have any clay willies, ideal for stirring tea with, do they?!)
The Spider-Man star shared a photo of the pair of them getting up close and personal, on Wednesday, 9 July, with the caption Malcolm & Marie, the title of the production.
It only took all of 0.3 milliseconds before outraged Karens jumped on social media to flood Zendaya’s mentions, and scream “WHY dO YOU GET 2 NOT SOCIALLY DISTANCE?!!!!1? I CAN’T GO TO PRIMARK, BUT U CAN DO THIS!!!”
It turns out, however, that the pair didn’t break any guidelines – unlike the government which are enforcing them. Who said this place was just clay willy jokes?! I can do satire.
After production on Zendaya’s show, Euphoria, was closed due to COVID-19, she messaged the show’s creator, Sam Levinson, to help pen and direct a movie with her during lockdown – six days later, and he had a draft of Malcolm & Marie. (I’m gonna need to make more ceramic dicks to compete with this.)
Shot from June 17 to July 2 at an environmentally conscious, state of the art house in Carmel, California, Malcolm & Marie even had several doctors and lawyers working close by to make sure are legal requirements were met, including temperature checks at the beginning and end of every day.
According to reports, the entire cast and crew also took regular COVID tests, and had a two week quarantine before filming began. It’s also said that no more than 12 people were allowed on set at any time.
Rehearsals for Malcolm & Marie took place in a large car park, and the production allowed extra time for workers to sanitise the set and gear, whilst cast members were in charge of handling their own costumes.
Malcolm & Marie is said to be similar to Netflix’s recent Marriage Story, whilst tackling some of the themes and talking points the world is facing now.
So, you know, the atrocities and social injustices of middle-aged woman being forced to wear a small mouth covering as they go to buy a pint of milk. That sort of this.